Gay Christian Counseling: Reconciling Two Worlds Within

Text on Image: Stay as You Are.
Collage of Images: Same-Sex Couple with their faces touching, people looking off into the distance, hand holding, hands in an artistic pose.

No matter where you place yourself on the LGBTQ spectrum, if you also identify as a Christian, my guess is that you have probably had some difficulty reconciling your faith with your sexuality/gender identity. While there are some gay Christians who have been completely spared from that dilemma, most have not. If you or someone you care about identifies as LGBTQ and Christian there absolutely is hope for making peace with both of these identities- but where do you begin?

First Things First: Reparative Therapy is Dangerous

Reparative/Conversion Therapy is the attempt, on behalf of a counselor, to help a client change their sexual orientation or gender identity. The damage of this therapy is so profound that it has been deemed unethical by the American Psychological Association and has been made illegal in many states. For more information on this practice, read: The Lies and Dangers of Reparative Therapy.

Find a Counselor Who Will Respect Both Worlds

Counseling can be an excellent resource (if I do say so myself) for hashing-out your faith beliefs and your sexuality/gender identity. I recommend finding someone who will respect you as an LGBTQ Christian. Find a counselor who will encourage you as you find your own path on this journey. This is a very personal endeavor and you should never feel pressured to sacrifice your faith or your sexual orientation/gender identity. Consider finding someone who is relatively familiar with Christianity and knowledgable of the unique issues that come with being LGBTQ.

Research

You will hear a lot and I mean A LOT of opinions on what it means to be LGBTQ and Christian. I recommend starting with some basic research about gender and sexuality. This may help to solidify your beliefs about what is choice and what is not. Here are some helpful resources:

How Science is Helping Us Understand Gender

Gender vs. Sex: What is the Difference

Transgender Brains Are More Like Their Desired Gender from an Early Age

The Science of Sexual Orientation

Connect

You are not alone on this journey. It is so important that you connect with people who are in the same boat as you. Thanks to the internet, you can find so many great communities to join. Depending on where you live, you may also find some churches who will accept all of who you are. Here are some resources to consider:

GayChurch.org: A database that allows you to search for churches in your area. Want to know the difference between a “welcoming” church and an “affirming” one? Read: The Difference Between a Welcoming Church and an Affirming One is Huge.

Q Christian Fellowship “Join thousands of others around the world in our private, password-protected discussion forum.”

Don’t Give Up

You deserve to live an authentic life. Being a Christian and LGBTQ comes with challenges. Lucky for you, research shows that the LGBTQ community is one of the most resilient. You are strong enough to get through this but you don’t have to do it alone. Connect with others. Reach-out for help. Here are some stories that you might find inspiring:

Blue Babies Pink Logo
A Southern Coming-Out Story in 44 episodes.
Image of Book Cover for TORN: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays vs. Christians Debate
Torn by Justin Lee
Book Cover of "A Christian Lesbian Journey" by Darlene Bogle
A Christian Lesbian Journey by Darlene Bogle

I hope you find these resources to be helpful!

Take Care,

Signature: Jaclyn
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